Hope for the 2nd Half: Sharon Cumberland

Hello, Down Home readers. It is Monday again and we have made it to about the halfway mark of summer. Anyone else ready to get off the rollercoaster ride that is 2020? 

Despite all that is going on around us, I (Sharon) have been really encouraged and inspired by our Hope for the 2nd Half summer series. We have some immensely insightful and introspective people at SLOCA! Today, it seemed only fair that I challenge myself to consider the same prompt that I gave our guest bloggers and share with you what is my hope for the 2nd half of this unprecedented year. May my reflections and ramblings encourage you to look on the sunny side and consider what you can celebrate about these past months and give you hope for the unknown ahead. 

Most of us can recall life before 9/11 and can reminisce about the “glory days” of airline travel when you were able to greet your family the minute they disembarked from the plane, your shoes stayed on the whole time you went through security, and nobody cared if you packed a full-size shampoo bottle in your carry-on. Ah, the good-ol-days. Several weeks into the shelter-in-place order, my husband and I had an impromptu discussion with our kids in the car (if you haven’t discovered it yet — cars are an excellent place for talking with your kids) about the ramifications of COVID-19 on the future and we speculated all the changes it might bring about. Dave and I, then, shared a bit about what we remembered about life before and after 9/11.

My son is 11 and my daughter is 6. My son will most likely be able to recall life before and after COVID-19 and all that has occurred so far in 2020 (I sure hope there is an “after”).  My daughter, however, despite her excellent memory, may struggle a little bit more to remember the before. Either way, the fact of the matter is that this has been a year full of change, forcing us all to adjust to a new way of approaching life. We can speculate on what changes will be temporary and what may carry on for years, but we can’t really know for sure right now. What I do know is that these difficult days have changed me and my family for the better and although there is much to mourn there is also much to celebrate. My hope is that the lessons learned, the character developed, and the connections made will remain beyond these fatiguing days and that when my kids reminisce about this time of their lives they will have more positive memories than negative. 

There’s quite a bit that I can reflect on, but I’ll just share with you a few of my favorite areas of growth that give me hope and remind me that even though this is hard, struggles lead to strength — just ask a butterfly.

Perspective & Gratitude —

I think one of the best changes I have seen in my kids (and myself) is a new appreciation for things that were once taken for granted. I’ll be honest, I have a tendency to get a little irked when my kids show a sense of entitlement. Like when they pout because there is no dessert one night or complain when they have to wait for something for more than 5 minutes. Do they not know how good they have it? Yes, a lot of times they really have no clue because during their young lives they have always had what they needed and a lot of the times, what they wanted. However, in recent months as parks have been closed, camps canceled and so much more postponed or up in the air, my kids have found a new sense of gratitude for what they do have and can do. I have seen them take more joy in simple activities, heard more unprompted “thank you’s”, and watched that sense of entitlement ebb away. It’s unfortunate, but often true, that we do not really value something until we no longer have it. 

About the 7th week of shelter-in-place, we made plans to meet-up with friends. At a nearby parking lot, riding their bikes and scooters around in circles, the kids reveled in the company of someone other than their sibling. It was only for an hour or so, but my son came home energized and happy, saying, “Mom, that was awesome!” Pre-pandemic, a playdate at a parking lot for less than an hour would probably not have been deemed “awesome”. Perspective has been gained. And I hope it is not lost. 

Independence & Responsibility —

I was already super impressed with the level of independence my 5th grader displayed at the beginning of his first year in LMS. Towards the end, amid distance learning, etc., I was blown away. This path to independence definitely comes with a mixed bag of emotions for me. I waver from pride to heartache as I watch my kids grow up, but mostly I feel encouraged knowing that they have the ability to be self-sufficient and are taking ownership of their education and eventually a whole lot more. As challenging as distance learning was, I am not sure I would have seen this level of growth in such a short amount of time had the school year gone as planned.

Not only have my kids matured in the area of schoolwork but as members of our family as well. I will be the first to admit that I can sometimes be a “control freak” and often when it comes to household chores etc., I choose to do them myself in order to have it done my way, on my schedule, and to avoid the whining that usually ensues when my kids are asked to do something. I’m a work in progress and have been pushing myself to push my kids. With more time available to them, I have no excuse for not expecting more help from them at home. They have risen to the occasion and I know that these life skills and responsibilities are preparing them for their future.

Connection & Relationships —

There is almost a 5 year age difference between my kids. And some days it is really evident, but I still desire them to be close despite the age gap. As my oldest is on the brink of entering those formative teenage years, I wonder what his relationship with his sister will look like. Their relationship has always been one of the best benefits of our SLOCA hybrid school life. I imagine that if they went to school 5 days a week, with the addition of different interests in extracurriculars, they would not have as many opportunities to be together and develop a friendship. These past few months have given them plenty of time to connect and learn to communicate and cooperate with each other. Their relationship is preparing them for future relationships. It hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows, but I hope they will look back on this time with fond memories of their time together.

Our family has been enjoying all this time together as well (not necessarily enjoying it all the time). We have played board games galore, walked our neighborhood more times than we can count, discovered new favorite hikes, tended our vegetable garden, and had the opportunity for conversations that might not usually have happened when our days were busier. We have had to be creative and flexible and to hold loosely to any plans made, but ultimately we are thriving and I have hope for the days ahead knowing that we are stronger because of these struggles. 

Where have you found hope and encouragement these last few months? We want to hear — share with us in the comments below.