The Cellular Conundrum

Welcome to our first Summer Stunner post! This summer, we want to continue our Wonder theme and hear from folks in our community just how wondrous life is. Our readers are diverse coming from different social, cultural and economic groups and the way we each see Wonder can be uniquely different. What better way to share those experiences than through guest bloggers! So throughout the next few weeks, we will have different people share about what their Wonder is. As you read these posts, we hope you find them encouraging and refreshing. May it inspire you to look around where you are – whatever space or season you’re in, to find your own Wonder!

Let’s welcome Jeannett Gibson with our first Summer Stunner writing on a topic that is way more prevalent outside of SLOCA walls…

Before I begin, I will admit that I see and feel the distinct irony of writing what I’m about to write to an online blog, which you are likely reading via a Facebook link from your cell phone. That is another topic for another day. So let’s just ignore the elephant in the room for a moment, and I’ll get to it.

When I was asked to write a post for the summer series, I had the vague idea of a post having to do with nature journaling or something equally homeschool-y.  But after finding myself genuinely thankful for the culture and community of SLOCA this week, I decided I would pen a love story to all of you instead.

Okay, maybe not a love story, but a story that made me really, super, obnoxiously thankful for our little counter-cultural pocket of the world.

Friends of ours were visiting from out of town. With them, their 10 and 13-year-olds and their ubiquitous cell phones seemingly Krazy glued to their hand.  Also, headphones or earbuds. From the moment of waking to the drifting off of sleep, both kids were regularly in and out of their devices. To be fair, they were respectful about it and would engage in conversation when appropriate, so they weren’t complete zombies, but they also didn’t ever quite put them down either.  

At some point, I randomly offered to take the kids to Disneyland for a couple of days and the 10-year-old agreed to come.  (Related: I need a better filter between ideas in my head and words coming out of my face).

Fast forward to walking out of the hotel room to head to the park, when I realize that little Bobby (not his name, btw), had his phone in his hand, and a small knapsack. 

“Oh, hey.  Yeah, you’re not taking that stuff with you.  Sorry, bud.”

“But it’s my phone and charger and my headphones!”

“Yeah.  I know.”

“I NEED it.”

“Bobby.  You are ten years old.  We are going to Disneyland.  One of the entertainment capitals in the known universe.  You’ll have plenty to see and do. Plus, I’m not about to be responsible for keeping track of another $900 device.  I’m sorry, but it has to stay here.”

“But I want to text my parents!”

“Awesome!  I have their numbers in my phone.  You are more than welcome to use it any time you want.  Now, let’s go check out Star Wars Land!”

Meanwhile, my kids awkwardly shifted their weight during this exchange because they knew it would never end any way other than how Mom intended.

All went well.  No one died without their phone.  It was a Christmas Miracle.

Once we were back home, I mentioned to Bobby’s dad that Bobby might be mad at me for not letting him take his phone into the park.  Expecting a knowing chuckle in agreement, I was shocked when he bitingly said: “Why not?”

Awkward.

“Oh.  Um, I just didn’t see the need.”

A day or two later, while surfing Facebook on my phone (<<—– IRONY), I came across an article about how parents so often struggle to put limits on devices and how oftentimes, even when they want to do it, it’s such an uphill battle because literally, everyone else is doing it.  The article described kids crying that “I’ll be the stupid loser at school!” for having to put their phones away at bedtime, or for not responding immediately during dinnertime. The author described her kids’ screen addiction and how although she saw the issues, it was so ingrained in the school culture, she felt helpless in making any change because none of the other parents agreed or were willing to communally instill more limits.  I thought back to my conversation with Bobby’s dad, and how shocked I was that I was the bad guy even in this adult’s eyes.

All I could think was that it was SO WONDERFUL that we at SLOCA are very much like-minded in this regard.  My incoming 7th grader doesn’t even think to ask for his own phone. None of his friends have one. It’s just not even a thing.  Sure, he asks to have time on the Nintendo or watching videos of ants (yes, ants), but the expectation of having a personal device just isn’t there.  He doesn’t feel left out for being the only “stupid loser” without a phone. While I do have to navigate time limits and monitor internet usage, it is all on communal family-owned devices that I have complete control over.  I don’t have to fight with my kids against a current of a dizzying percentage (one report I read said 98% of middle schoolers) who have their own device.  

So that’s my love story to you guys.  Thanks for not giving your kids phones, because it makes my life so much easier.  And thanks to SLOCA for backing up that concept by consistently enforcing a device free campus for our students.  Parenting is hard enough. I’m glad to stave off the crazy that is the internet for just a wee bit longer.

(And for those of you who do give your kids phones, this love story is for you too.  Because my kid is oblivious to it, so I appreciate that too.)

(Also, I don’t hate technology.  I am, after all, the social media manager for SLOCA.  I post to Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest regularly.  As in, it’s my actual job. I’m not anti-the interwebs. But I am thankful to give my kids as much time as possible digging holes and climbing trees and nature journaling without a ton of fighting.  They can mindlessly surf their phones when they are a little older, ya know?)

Thanks so much for your post, Jeannett! This is a really challenging one to balance! What about YOU readers? What are your thoughts on this topic?