The Character Issue: Diligence

“Gardens are not made by singing ‘Oh, how beautiful!’ and sitting in the shade.”

― Rudyard Kipling

Diligence. What a fitting character trait to be focusing on this first month of the year. It sure takes diligence to stick to your New Year’s resolutions. And after three weeks of break, it is going to take some diligence from all of us to get back into the rhythms of school.

SLOCA defines diligence as:

Committing to doing tasks with excellence and persevering with determination and patience to complete tasks in spite of difficulties and discouragement. 

Catch Phrase: Do your best; don’t give up!

Do you have a perfectionist (or two) in your house? I’m (Sharon) not sure if “perfectionist” is the best word to describe some of the personalities in our home, but there’s definitely a few of us that don’t like to make mistakes (myself included). So when we are told “do your best” we take it to heart and have a hard time when our “best” doesn’t seem to measure up. It can be difficult to accept that our individual “best” does not necessarily mean “the best”. We are all learning and growing and my “best” is not going to look the same as yours. The important part of our SLOCA catchphrase is that even when it is really challenging to accomplish our personal best, we don’t give up! That is diligence: perseverance even when something is hard.

In our home, not only do we have a few sort of perfectionists, but we also tend to lean towards wanting to take the path of least resistance, i.e., what is the shortest, quickest, easiest, least painful way I can accomplish this task? You’d think that would conflict with our need to achieve the best but somehow it doesn’t. Is there such a thing as a “lazy perfectionist”? Suffice it to say, that path often does not lead to our best. So why do we choose it? Because of a fear of failure. 

If you take the time to search for quotes about diligence you’ll discover quite a variety out there. From “Nothing worth having comes easy” (Theodore Roosevelt) to “Genius is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration” (Thomas Edison) to “Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today” (Abraham Lincoln). These are all excellent quotes, but one of my personal favorites (I’m pretty sure I first heard from a wise SLOCA parent) is “I can do hard things.” I love this phrase because it is an important reminder that we are often capable of doing more than we give ourselves credit for. The trouble with doing hard things is that sometimes our attempts will result in failure. Our “best” may look like a mess because we need more practice or time or learning. It is essential that when we say to our children, “Do your best” we also emphasize that they will make mistakes and mistakes are ok. I love when our teachers tell our students, “Mistakes make your brain grow”. Mistakes are an invaluable part of development. (Check out this cool article for more information on the benefits of mistakes and struggle.)

As we encourage our kids to be diligent and challenge them to do their best, let’s help them to also embrace the learning that will come when they persevere and even when they fail.

Ideas for encouraging diligence:

• Quotes can be pretty powerful. Take the time to look up a few of the many quotes about diligence. See if you can find one from a person your child is familiar with and respects. Sometimes when they find out that their favorite inventor Benjamin Franklins said, “He who labors diligently need never despair; for all things are accomplished by diligence and labor”, they may be more motivated than when we simply admonish them “Do your best.” Display the quote somewhere where it can be referred to and used as a gentle reminder when your student is struggling.
• Discuss as a family what diligence looks like specifically for each one of you. Expectations for how one sibling will complete their home assignments may look completely different from another sibling.
• Talk about the power of mistakes and failures. Often our kids do not want to try something for fear of failure, especially when it seems hard. Help them to envision what will be gained when they try and what might be lost if they are unwilling to risk failure.
• Read books with characters that display diligence. When kids see a character they admire demonstrating a positive character trait it encourages them to emulate that character. The Kindergarteners are reading Snowflake Bentley this week and we came across this quote, “Even so his (Wilson Bentley) first pictures were failures — no better than shadows. Yet he would not quit.” Many of our favorite stories are about characters who struggle to do what is right. Need some ideas on books to read about diligence? Then don’t miss next Wednesday’s Teaching Diligence Through Literature post for a slew of ideas from our SLOCA librarians.

There are so many ways to encourage this character trait in our kids. Remember that one of the most impactful methods is simply modeling it to them. Maybe share with them some of the goals you have made for the new year. Talk with them about how you plan to attain them and what might happen if you don’t. If you fail, that’s ok, consider it a learning opportunity for you and your kids.

I’ll leave you with one last quote from the author who gave us Don Quixote, a character that personifies diligence and definitely never gave up!

Diligence is the mother of good fortune, and idleness, its opposite, never brought a man to the goal of any of his best wishes. — Miguel  de Cervantes

Diligence