Hope for the 2nd Half: Gina Planeta

Hello and happy Monday! Here to kick off our summer series, Hope for the 2nd Half is track B mom, Gina Planeta. If you are in need of some encouragement and resonating reminders, then you’ve come to the right place.

“Happy Pandemic Revolution Birthday!” – my mom 

That’s the end of the birthday poem my mom wrote for my birthday a few weeks ago. It gave me a giggle and served as a reminder of how we’re all looking for the humor or bright side in the world right now. We’re looking for hope.  

When I first heard “hope” was the theme for this summer on the blog, I had to think about what I could write. For many of us hope might be in short supply. For others, that might be the thing that keeps us going. Some days it might be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel or the silver lining; but, I just need to look at my kiddos and I see it. They give me hope for the future.   

As tumultuous as this time is, my girls are still learning and gaining new skills. Skills that are being picked up at a rate different from what would have happened in our pre-pandemic days. And if you’re thinking, “Gina, you’re crazy. My house has gone off the rails.  I don’t think my kids have learned anything except how to be heathens” I’d say, “Samesies, but I bet you’re wrong about the kids!”

As proof, here are some skills my kids have developed since March:

• Conflict resolution and compromise — For those that don’t know me well, I have four daughters. The oldest just turned 8 and the youngest is around one and a half. They fight. A LOT. They’re also very, very close and this time has only brought them closer as they master new skills. I’ve seen their conflict resolution improve as they regulate their own arguments. When you’re stuck together months on end, you learn you can’t really afford to alienate your only playmates and you learn to problem-solve. Along the same lines, if you want to keep playing, you need to play nice. For example, today my two oldest presented their mapped out, joint Halloween costume plans for the next decade. My oldest graciously took on all of the boy, or animal sidekick, roles. Teamwork!
• Flexibility — We are a family of planners. We always have something going on. This year, after over a year of planning, we were supposed to go to Disney World. As we realized the magnitude of what’s happening in the world, we made the decision to move our trip. My girls were amazing. Rather than dwell on 493 more days of waiting, they’re talking about how excited they are to have even more spending money saved by then. They’ve rolled along with canceled extracurriculars, socially distanced dance recitals, missed grandparents visits. All with more grace than I ever expected, or hoped for.
• Empathy — No matter your political or personal views, we all have an awareness that people are struggling right now.  For any number of reasons. In our house, we’ve been able to have a number of hard conversations with our girls about history, fear, and the role psychology and beliefs can play into a person’s decisions. They have been so compassionate towards others, and passionate in what they believe in. They’re eager to learn and care.  
• Increased tech skills — While I apologize to anyone who has been on the receiving end of my daughter’s newfound love for emojis, I am so grateful for the skills they are acquiring as they use tech for school and maintaining relationships. They’ve been learning how to navigate the iPad and laptop in ways they’ve never had to before. They’re learning typing skills as they use chat features and camera skills as they FaceTime. These are skills that will come in handy for much of their lives.
• Comfortable with the unknown — This is the big one for me. So many of us are struggling because we don’t know how to be uncomfortable. We don’t know how to sit back and let things play out. We are profoundly uncomfortable not being able to see what’s coming. While it might not seem that way, learning to sit with discomfort and the unknown at such a young age is a gift for our children. For many, it’s a skill they may never have acquired otherwise. They will be more resilient, more comfortable with change, and more accepting of whatever comes next. They will be ready to move forward.

As hard as this time is, there is hope. Our kids are learning. It might feel like your house is a mess, you can’t get a minute to yourself, or that the kids are always arguing, but they’re also learning. They’re learning skills that they can carry with them well beyond a return to “normal” or the new normal. They may very well end up as adaptive problem solvers with a deep respect for others and a penchant for technology. At least that’s what we should choose to hope.

Thank you so much, Gina for these beautiful reminders!